As much as I love this little girl of ours, the newborn stage is so hard for me to get through. So I thought I would jot down what it is that God is teaching me through this time in our lives. I was just talking to a friend of mine the other day (as we were walking on the beach) and said "I think having newborns is the most sanctifying time in my life." Why? Because it is the most self-sacrificing/selfless time. So for this to be so hard surely does show me how selfish I am.God has been teaching me patience lately. I am so bad at it because when I am tired I tend to let me emotions run the show...and, at times, get really put out when my agenda gets interrupted by someone that is dependent on me to take care of her/him. So the times I want to take a nap and she wants to wake up early from hers or when she is fussy and wants to be held and I really want to finish writing an e-mail. Or she's hungry but I really wanted to eat my lunch first. It all sounds so silly as I'm writing it. But one thing I was really struggling with lately and fighting so badly has actually turned out to be a blessing. When Ansley wakes up early from her nap (after an hour) she always goes back to sleep (for another 1 to 1 1/2)...only if I go in and rock her for about 10-20 minutes and put her back to bed. Sounds crazy I know but she is such a happier girl if she gets that extra sleep. So I was becoming really frustrated that I had to do this for her naps. But a couple of days ago I found myself looking forward to it because it was a quiet time where I could think (with no interruptions), pray, rest and snuggle some with my little girl (who loves to sleep all snuggled on my chest). So it takes 40 minutes total out of my day...no big deal. It's funny how God was answering my prayer...time for rest/to think and time to pray. I've definitely seen how stubborn I am with my own agenda rather than being open to what God has planned. It reminds me of the other day when Ethan asked "mom, do you know where my orange truck is?" and I said "yeah, right there in front of you."
2 comments:
let's just say...i can relate.
Glad you are teachable and seeing how God answers prayer--not the way you thought he would answer. When she is crawling and walking around, you will miss those times of rest that you have to stop whatever you are doing to rock the baby or feed her. What a great way for God to give a mom a break where she could really use it. And to think Ansley enjoys that too. How sweet. Mom H
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